Retired...

I retired about 3 years ago, after 35 years of teaching. The best career move I ever made! I go to bed when I want, I get up when I want (usually) and for the most part I do what I want. Compared to the whirlwind of busy that came with teaching and coaching, this is really a breeze, and I would never ever in a million years go back. Still…

Last week was a miserable week of weather. Cold and rainy all week, then capped off with about 8 inches of snow on Saturday. I hated it, like most of us. But I couldn’t help thinking that while it was disgusting, it didn’t really affect me like it did when I was a track coach. I made a facebook post to that effect, and I got lots of responses from former runners of mine. Which got me thinking about back then...

Reminiscing is always dangerous, because we tend to look back at the past with blinders on. We remember the good parts, and probably play up the “good” just a bit too much. And we remember the bad parts too, but we normally play the "bad" down, thinking “well it wasn’t so bad.” Yet...

No, I would never go back. Teaching was great, and coaching was wonderful. But the time, the energy, the dedication it took to be effective; well, I don’t think I could do that anymore. It makes me tired to just think about it! Still…

I have to say, there are times when I look back on those times, and I miss them. And I think I know why. First of all, I miss some of my best friends, dreadfully, and while I see them periodically, it’s not nearly the same as sharing everything, good times and bad, celebrations and disappointments. But there’s more than that. It’s the same reason so many new retirees find one thing after another to fill their time. It’s not because of boredom, although that’s what they may say. No, I think it’s really because they miss feeling useful.

When I was teaching and coaching, if I had been hit by a bus and killed instantly, everything I was involved with would have been turned completely upside down. Nobody could do the things I did; nobody knew how. And honestly, nobody even really knew what all those things were. And that’s not just me; that’s probably true with most people. Eventually, of course, they would have figured it out, as they did when I finally retired. After all, nobody is actually irreplaceable.

But even more than that, the thing I enjoyed most about teaching and coaching, is that I made a difference in so many lives. I affected a lot of people. Yes, I made a difference. That is such an emotional experience, it’s not surprising that I miss that.

I love retirement, and I would never go back. Still...