The Teachers' Lounge

Recently, I saw a Facebook post concerning teachers. The poster talked about the wonderful teachers he had had. But when he became a teacher, he found many teachers gossiped and talked badly about students in the lounge. He seemed disappointed.

I spent a lifetime teaching, so I’m acquainted with teachers’ lounges. And my response was “What did he expect?” These teachers who “gossiped and talked badly” about students may actually have been wonderful teachers.  I know a bunch of teachers who were sometimes unbearable in the teachers’ lounge but were in fact excellent teachers. And I can pretty much guarantee that his “wonderful teachers” behaved very similarly when they were around other teachers.

Most teachers I know are dedicated, hard-working individuals. But we all have our own internal filters. These filters tell us what we should or shouldn’t say in any social situation. While I tried very hard to be the same person to my students as I was with my friends, there are still things I just couldn’t do or say. When a teacher is with his students, it is normally not a good idea, for instance, to talk about religion, politics, sex, or any of a zillion other topics. And also a good teacher will most likely go out of her way not to berate a student, even when a student is being a complete jerk, or just having one of those “where is his brain?” moments. As teachers, we filter those things.

But when we’re with our own peers, those filters change. We can say, and show, a lot more than we can when around students. So when in the teachers’ lounge, complaining just happens. Yes, it can get out of hand. And yes, it would be better, I suppose, if teachers didn’t engage in that kind of behavior. But for the most part, it is a time when teachers let their filters go, and “blow off steam” so to speak. It really doesn’t make them any less teachers.

I’ve been told funeral personnel are the same way. I’m pretty sure they aren’t sad all the time. I’m sure that sometimes they are treating the grieving family one way, but then are completely different with their colleagues. It doesn’t mean they’re bad. It means they’re human. And they have to let those filters down sometimes.

Most of us have done this: we get bad service from someone at a store, then we get out into our car and complain about “that stupid clerk” or whatever. In this case, our car is our “teachers’ lounge.” No difference.

But you know, there are some people with no filters at all. We’ve all heard people say something like “I tell it like I see it. I don’t care what people think. I’m tired of this politically correct crap.” Well, first of all, normally they don’t mean it. They still do have some filters; they just don’t like to admit it.

But there are some who really do mean it, and don’t filter anything. They say whatever they think. They would actually call that clerk above “stupid.” Some people admire these unfiltered people. They call them genuine, and true. But these people aren’t “genuine” or “true.” No, these people are “jerks.”  (which is the nicest word I could use in a family -friendly blog.) Because filtering our behavior in public is not about being politically correct, or untrue, or fake, or caring about what people think. It’s just being considerate. It’s about treating other humans with decency and respect.

But there are instances when we actually need no filters. When we are with someone who we can be with and have absolutely no filters, that’s the best situation ever. It allows us to be completely comfortable and perfectly at ease. We can be our absolute selves, we can relax, and life is good!

Those people are what we call “best friends.”