I’ve always thought this was an odd time of year to be selling cookies. This is exactly the time when so many adults are trying to lose some of their winter weight before summer. Yet, right in the middle of prime weight-loss season, 8 boxes of thin mints, tagalongs, and various other cookies arrive to test my will power.
Well, I have a plan. See, each cookie is about 40-80 calories, depending on which variety you’re munching on. I suppose I could muster the will power to eat a cookie or two each day. (Actually, no I couldn’t, but it sounds cool to say that.) But even if I did, I’d be eating cookies for weeks, absorbing all those extra calories, and completely ruining any attempt at becoming one of the beautiful people by summer. Well, you know what I mean.
Nope, that’s not my plan. My plan is I’m going to eat them all. I mean all 8 boxes. In one day. Really. Think about it. It’s somewhere around 10,000 calories. I’m not a physiology expert, but there is absolutely no way that my body can absorb that many calories in one day. Just impossible. We’re not designed for that. I mean, when Joey Chestnut eats 66 hot dogs in 10 minutes, does he absorb all that? If so, he’d gain about 5 pounds right then. And that guy’s pretty skinny.
Just so you know, I have absolutely no data to support this plan, but it makes sense to me.
Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
The Girl Scouts' motto must include their intention to test the country's will power every year. I have tried freezing them so the temptation is not in plain site....but you know what? They are a delicious frozen treat!
ReplyDeleteI dare you!
ReplyDeletethis is your favorite daughter speaking and i DO believe at least 1 of those boxes of thin mints is mine that i have been looking forward to for months. so you can eat 7 boxes tomorrow, but not 8 or i will be very angry.
ReplyDeleteI consumed two boxes in one night, but I imagine this will come as no surprise. Maybe you're also anticipating a long-overdue delivery of sugar cookies?
ReplyDeleteI will confirm that "Scott" did in fact eat two full boxes in one night - AND the box of thin mints that he bought for "me" that were put in the freezer by the next day. So for me, GS cookies are just a big tease. I only seem to get about 5 or 6. Next year, I'm buying a safe to put in the freezer.
ReplyDelete